This is a completely unscheduled, off the cuff, impromptu blog post in which I just want to off-load some thoughts and musings from my poor addled brain. So forgive me if I waffle and please feel free to sit this one out, I won’t track you down and punish you……probably.
Over the past couple of weeks, maybe longer if i’m honest, I have been looking at my ever burgeoning book trolley, not with the usual big heart eyes and contented sigh, but with a niggling sense of unease……
You see, that trolley is fit to bursting with delicious proofs on two of the shelves and has a bottom shelf which is ram a lam a ding donged with books I’ve bought or procured for myself recently that are all winking seductively at me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know I am in a very privileged position of being offered books and sent books unsolicited from publishers but sometimes when I’ve said ‘Yes please!’ and the book then arrives, I have a tiny little nugget of unease sitting in my belly like a stone. I am the kind of person who once I have said I will do something, I bladdy well do it! However, I am also the kind of person who puts waayyyyy too much pressure on themselves. You see, I agree to read a book by a certain date or aim to have it read and reviewed at least a week before publication and it gets to around a month, 6 weeks before this date or self imposed deadline and I think ‘oh my god! I’m so behind!’….
I know this reaction is overblown, hell some of you out there have recently told me you sometimes don’t get around to reading a book for a blog tour until a few days before…….even sometimes the night before…
HOW. IN. THE. NAME. OF. ALL. THAT. IS. HOLY. DO. YOU. COPE?????
You lot are hardcore! I salute you……but surely you all have anxiety induced stomach ulcers???
This feeling of anxiety has crept up on me recently like an insidious little snake. Probably because I’m having quite majorly disruptive house renovations done, (which are only going to get hellishly worse over the next month! pass me the valium!) I also work full time and have 2 children, add to this a dash of medical stuff and a soupcon of natural low level anxiety and you are left with a woman in a tizz.
I recently had the idea of stepping away from the proofs and picking up some books I ACTUALLY BOUGHT MYSELF, imagine! Yes it was lovely, but I was distracted by those gosh darn beautiful proofs cooing my name and dates in my calendar of when I ‘had’ to read them by. I don’t ‘have’ to read anything guys. I KNOW THIS! But my brain worries at it. I’m a dick what can I say?!
I tell you what, it’s a good job I have you lot to keep me sane and give my head a wobble. Or just say ‘yes! Me too!’ I have my lovely pal Clare over at Years Of Reading Selfishly to talk me down off a ledge whenever I need it because she’s an absolute doll face and no mistake. Calm and pragmatic and an absolute gem.
I don’t really know what the purpose of this blog post is, other than to get my thoughts down, maybe talk myself down from the ceiling because it’s all ok isn’t it? The world won’t combust if I don’t get round to reading and reviewing a book ‘in time’.
I’ll be reet, don’t you worry!
For now I’m going to breathe and re-boot and as I said to Clare yesterday ‘I just need to chill the fuck out!’
Ain’t it the truth.
See you all soon you belters.
Amanda – Bookish Chat xx
16 thoughts on “Book Break(down)”
I definitely have felt you this month. I took on far too many blog tours and got sick too. So I have learnt a big lesson in not being too much like a kid in a sweet shop with the tours. I have got 3 more to do before I can chill 😣😣😣😣
It’s hard to say no sometimes but I have had to do it lots more recently. I just can’t do it all!
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Yeah I can relate to this…I get wrapped up in the excitement and just want to take on everything but I forget that you kind of have to do the thing you said you would!
You work full time!!!! How the hell do you fit it all in???? Go easy on yourself. Xx
I have no idea! 😂
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I love your rap! So clever. I commit to very few blog tours now, and refuse to commit to review dates so that I can read proofs etc at my own pace rather than someone else’s, but still have guilty moments over review copies – but then I look at my overloaded mountains of books I have bought for myself and not read yet and feel guilty about that too. Glass or two of wine, trashy TV and then my comfort read of a good thriller will normally dilute the guilt! Good luck.
Thanks Annabel! I just need to take a little step back, take a breath and then stop worrying so much!
Oh hun this all this is sooooo ME 🙈 I got stressed out as early as February for my blog tours in April 😂 And yet I still keep piling on… Sometimes I really have to remind myself to breathe (and chill the fuck out 😉). Hang in there, it’s zero help but you’re not alone!
It’s a help just to know I’m not on my own! Thanks Kelly x
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I work full time too (no kids though) and there is no way I would be able to read everything on time. I try to stop worrying about it now and concentrate on the blog tour reviews I have committed to and read what else I can in between. (Despite my pledge at the beginning of the year to cut down on blog tours, I’ve still managed to take on too many!). Most of us have the same guilt over those unread books. I buy loads and never seem to have time to read them. x
I said I was cutting down on blog tours this year too but a few have crept in.
I totally relate with everything you’ve put in this post so it’s always nice to know that we’re not alone in putting the pressure on ourselves and our inability to say ‘no’ to new boos if they are kindly offered! I wish the publishing world would take a month or two off with no book releases to give us a chance to try and catch up – but that’s never going to happen! Chill the fuck out is going to be my mantra from now on too!! 😉
It should be everyone’s mantra! We’d lose our minds otherwise!
Thanks Amanda for this post. I can relate to putting great pressure on myself. Once I receive a book for review on my blog, I get the same mixed feelings — excitement, gratitude to the publisher and then the overdeveloped sense of responsibility to review the title in a timely manner. I have coped by cutting back — way back — on my requests. Also, I give myself a little leeway to skip a book if it just doesn’t speak to me. A reality check in helps — e.g. realizing the publishing world will not crumble if my blog doesn’t review every single book offered/sent to me. Good to know I’m not alone.
I enjoy Bookishchat – keep up the great reviews. Deb
I’ve been more disciplined in saying no recently and I also am not afraid to DNF and tell the publisher I’ve done so. It’s made a huge difference